Monday, 9 October 2017

Moments pt.1

I am going to attempt to put into words some of the meaningful moments I experienced this summer. April 11th- September 11th 2017. This was the longest summer of my life; so much is to be said for it that I don't think I'll be able to fit it all into one blog post, hence the name 'pt.1' insinuating that there will be a part two (or three or four).

I haven't written a blog post in a while, I have started many that I could never bring into completion. I wrote about Spring and the hope it brought to my dejected soul. I wrote about Bethany coming to visit and about our trip to Germany. And after that I didn't attempt to write, though I intended to. And honestly I'm glad I didn't write, because I would have written very different content if I'd done it three months ago. 

The truth is I have changed and continue to change, sometimes rapidly and sometimes at a painstakingly slow pace. When I wrote about Spring in March I shared the joy of winter being over, but I hadn't let the pain of winter go and that pain was not so subtly exposed in the way I wrote. When I wrote about Bethany in July, almost a month after saying goodbye, my words were laced with melancholy anecdotes that revealed my heart's longing for someone I could call home. Now, if I'm being completely honest I must say that I have been quite unhappy for the past year. I could blame my circumstances and desperately try to justify myself, but I'm so done feeling sorry for myself. In a way, writing these blog posts have been a medium through which I could express how I was feeling when I didn't have anyone I could talk to about it. That maybe if I was moody and artistic on the internet then things would be a bit better. But I have changed, thank God. I'm still going to write honestly and openly, but I can safely say that winter is over

Oftentimes life changing moments aren't these huge, monumental experiences. The secret is in the little things, the journey, the random conversations that get you thinking, the friend that sends you her heart in a letter, the places you go, the new and the old. And most importantly it's the gentle whisper, the guidance from the One who is full of steadfast love and compassion. So here are a few moments from my summer that will, and have had a lasting impacted in my life.  

Go out and stand before me on top of the mountain,” 
the Lord said to him. Then the Lord passed by and 
sent a furious wind that split the hills and shattered
 the rocks—but the Lord was not in the wind. The wind
 stopped blowing, and then there was an earthquake—
but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the
 earthquake there was a fire—but the Lord was not in
 the fire. And after the fire there was the soft 
whisper of a voice.

1 Kings 19: 11-12


The first story I would like to share with you is a redemption story. Those of you who know me at all should know that I love my family with all my heart, and those of you who know me very well know that I haven't always gotten along with my little sister Elise. This summer held the climax of our conflict, but also its resolution. Maybe it was because we shared a room (for the first time might I add), I was in her personal space and she was in mine. Maybe, though, it was something that was just inevitable for our seemingly incompatible personalities. 

I'm not going to go into too much detail about our clash, because it's so irrelevant why we fought so often in the first place, and I don't even remember most of it. What I do remember though is feeling heartbroken, hurt, and hopeless. The hours I cried over our damaged relationship turned into days. I put my pride aside and prayed for her into the night. I fought back in frustration at the injustice I felt was inflicted upon me. I don't know if those feelings were justified, and I know I'm not blameless. 

The pictures below were taken in May. It was the last of the blossom and being the flower fanatic that I am, I dragged Elise on a photoshoot with me to capture it all before it officially became summer. 

May 2017

In the beginning of August, Johnny and Elise went on a mission trip to Greece and in my heart I knew she'd come back changed. And she did. Guys, God is so faithful and so able to redeem hearts and situations. My little sister accepted the gentle invitation to walk into the kind of healing that only comes when you let go and let God. She took the hand of love and won't let go. 

The day after they came back from Greece we flew to Spain to holiday with our grandparents. Elise and I shared a room and it was like our relationship had completely changed. Where there was once anger and hurt, there was laughter and openness. Below are some of the pictures that Elise and I took together in Spain. Maybe it's just  me, but don't we look so much happier? That joy is called Jesus. 

August 2017

These are a few of my favourite photos from Elise's baptism. It was enchanting, like dream you don't want to wake up from. We prayed for her on the shore and then she went into the sea with Johnny and our dad. The waves were raging, threatening to swallow her up at any moment. She went down and came up with a smile that filled the whole beach, that could be seen from the depths of the ocean. 

Self Portraits

I am a big fan of Spring. Experiencing the seasons for the first time in eleven years has been magical. I was fascinated by Autumn, but Spring stole my heart. The new growth after a barren winter is a perfect picture of hope. And that was a hope that I desperately needed. I remember the first day I was able to go outside without my coat on. I discarded the multitude of layers that had defined me throughout the long Winter months, and basked in the glory of the daffodils rising up to greet the sun. Spring was beautiful. Even the darkest night will fade and the sun will rise. 

I had wanted to take someone on a photoshoot for months. Driving past the blossoms and not being able to stop and take photos frustrated my artistic desires. I had no one to ask though, so I went outside with my camera and a tripod, determined to take photos even if they were just of me. Looking at the pictures, you might think I found a magical orchard, but truthfully I stumbled upon a small strip of green hiding in between apartments and a main road. But hey, that's the beauty of photography. 

 April 2017

Just A Flight Away

I am blessed, I truly am, to have such wonderful friends. Before we even parted ways for the first time back in June 2016, Catherine and I had already started planning this visit. Throughout the year leading up to it we have talked about all of the pictures we would take and all the things we would do. Even though Denmark isn't half a world away, I still really appreciate the fact that Cat got on a flight just to come and see me. 

Her visit was such so incredible! We had some really great substantial and fruitful conversations, reminisced and laughed a lot. We took a trip to Bournemouth to visit my great aunt and uncle, some of my favourite people in this world. Then spent a couple of days in London, I wanted to show her all the sights and she wanted to go to Primark. She left too soon, but it wasn't a heartbreaking goodbye, because I plan to visit her in Denmark in the summer of 2018. 

I'm at a loss for words to describe this sweet time together. I just want you to know, Catherine, that I really love you. Even in one short week I really felt like our friendship grew and I know you in ways I didn't know you before. You will forever be dear to my heart. Know that if you need anything I am always a call away, and I can't wait to see you again. 

To see the short film I made of our time together click here

August 2017




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